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Main Page » Garden & Home » Parenting
 

Problem School or Problem Child

 
Author: Bob Roach
 

New Years Eve is a time to make new year resolutions. Many of the resolutions are based on facts. I am too fat. I need to quit smoking. I need more exercise. As summer slowly comes to a close it could be a good time to reflect on some of the facts about your child and his or her school. If your child had a perfect year last year and does not need to resolve to do any better then this article is not for you. If there is room for improvement then I suggest you read this article with an open mind.

The new school year will undoubtedly provide many students with opportunities to engage in meaningful relationships that will determine what type of school year they will have. If the relationships are healthy relationships then get ready for a great school year. However if little Johnny forms poor relationships his school year and educational advancement will probably not be very productive.

In the following paragraphs I am going to describe some healthy relationships that will lead to an awesome learning experience. I believe that the relationships that students have with their peers and the professionals that are responsible for teaching them, directly effects the outcome of the learning.

Relationship With Peers

Many parents come to me and say,"My son is hanging with the wrong crowd." Quit making excuses for your child. It is hurtful and teaches your children that they are not responsible for anything. I quickly tell parents that their child IS the wrong crowd. Children do not get to pick and choose who they are friends with. The old expression "Birds of a feather flock together" is so true. The only way to change your friends or stop running with the wrong crowd is for the child to change their behavior. Personally I don't think it is ever too late to change. But, change only occurs when we truly believe that our behavior needs to change and that by doing so our life will be better.

Relationship With Teachers

A friendly, polite, respectful relationship with a teacher can make all the difference in your childs' learning. Believe it or not, teachers do not get up in the morning with a chip on their shoulder for your child. Teachers begin the day with a lesson plan that is directed completely toward increased knowledge on the part of each and every student in their class.

As a parent, if I were sending my child to school I would do everything I could to convince my child that the teacher is sincere in their desire to teach. I would also encourage my child to be respectful and courteous. By building a healthy relationship with your teacher it puts pressure on the learner and the teacher. The learner will try harder to please the teacher and the teacher will take pride in the accomplishments of the learner.

The biggest and most sever challenge that you have as a parent is to support the teacher. I do not have any idea how many times I have been in a conference with a parent and five teachers, only to hear a parent explain that we all have a personality conflict with their child. Before the school year starts, think about this: If five adults tell you that your child is misbehaving in school then the problem is not the school! The sad thing about this situation is that it lends to more poor behavior on the part of the child because the parent is enabling the student.

I will never forget the day that my six year old daughter received a bad report on behavior. My first thought was: How can a six foot six man have any problems with the behavior of my child? My second thought was: All I have to do is give her a severe look and she is ready to cry. But, instead of attacking the teacher, I took my child straight to school and made sure that my daughter realized that I believed what he had said my daughter was doing. We discussed the behavior and made a contract that would enable my daughter to get back some of her privileges only after two weeks of good reports from her teacher.

If I had gone in and attacked her teacher my daughter would have learned that I did not think she was misbehaving and that it was not important for her to change her behavior.

Resolution

I strongly encourage you to make some New School Year resolutions if you need to. Take the time to develop good relationships with both peers and educators and parents. Healthy, caring relationships will prepare your child for a better and happier school year.

 
 
 

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