Poker is like making love. You have to know when to raise the stakes, when to fold and when to bluff. And when you hit the jackpot, in either, it's enough to hold you over until the next one comes along.

Dames are like poker hands. There are a lot of pairs out there. Once in awhile youll find a sweet little number that resembles a full house. But how often do you find a natural royal flush? Not often. And if you ever find a woman like this you better hang on to her. Thats what I call lady luck.

I dont know how many dames that I have come across that are like a straight? They go straight for your wallet. Or how many are like a flush? Sure, I get flushed, but it only lasts for a few minutes and then I want to hit a casino.

I remember one dame I knew that was more like a crap game. Every time she threw she threw bullets. One for my heart and one for my back. I couldnt win with that one so I gave up craps.

And then there was one dame that was more like betting on a horserace. She was a sweet little filly but just at the climatic moment she would pull up lame. I dont know how many bottles of aspirin she went through. I always betted on her to win. But she always seemed to show then disappear.

Then there was the love of my life. A classy dame that resembled Blackjack. No matter how many times I hit her she always came up twenty-one. Now thats class.

Right now Im with a woman that resembles a slot machine. She keeps yanking my chain until I cough up all my coin.

Anyway I look at it a woman is a gamble. They are either stealing my heart or my money. I guess that is what makes it interesting. I just havent figured out a way to beat their odds. They always seem to be stacked against you. But Im working on a system. And one day Ill beat those odds.

(c) 2006 Hank Bolt.