REASONS TO CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES 1. Boundaries help you define who are and who you are not. 2. You need boundaries in order to be, and to be you. 3. You set boundaries by stopping others behavior. 4. You care about yourself by setting boundaries. You cannot grow without boundaries. Boundaries are about what others CANNOT do to you or around you. Examples of what to teach others NOT to do around you: being rude or disrespectful; raising their voice to you; consistently canceling an appointment with you at the last minute; always being late; gossiping; speaking in negative stereotypes; or clients/customers paying late or not showing up for appointments. WHEN YOU HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: Fear diminishes, trust increases You have willing, healthy relationships, respectful business interactions and true friends. WHEN YOUR BOUNDARIES ARE WEAK: You attract needy, disrespectful people in your life. You have more stress and the workplace is abusive, negative and disrespectful. Your energy is wasted on feeling bad, being a doormat and not owning your own power. EXTEND YOUR BOUNDARIES Understand that you will dramatically need to extend your boundaries. Be willing to educate others on how to respect your new boundaries. Be relentless, not angry or punitive, as you extend your boundaries. Make a list of 10 things that people may no longer do or say around you. Demand that every single person in your life is always unconditionally constructive in every comment they make to you: No more digs, sarcasm, criticism or deprecating remarksno matter what or who is in the situation. USE THE FOUR STEP ACTION PLAN WHENEVER SOMEONE VIOLATES YOUR BOUNDARIES: Inform them what they are doing Request they stop immediately Demand they stop Walk away without a snappy or a get even comment Reward; congratulate those who are respecting your boundaries. |