The brilliant British astrophysicist, Steven Hawking, has invited people to submit suggestions to his Website via Yahoo on how the human race might last another hundred years. Given that the dinosaurs lasted about 150 million years and were worried about making it given our 100,000-year-or-so history to a mere 100,100, we decided we must, after all, be even less perspicacious about what it takes to survive than the lofty dinos.

To moderate any possible abbreviation of our stay, we thought wed present ten ideas that we call Look, Dummy.

Since one of the delights of writing this informed laugh fest is knowing we dont have a single reader who could be even remotely described as a dummy, these ideas are obviously intended for your amusement but might also serve as a convenience when you come across people who seem to have a certain impenetrability when it comes to what is gaspingly obvious.

1. Look, Dummy: A tree. You cant make one, so dont cut them all down.

2. Look, Dummy: A fish. You cant make one either, so dont catch them all.

3. Look, Dummy: An animal: You cant make any of these either, so dont kill them all or crowd them all out.

4. Look, Dummy: The atmosphere; You have to breathe it, so dont poison it.

5. Look, Dummy: Water. You have to drink it, so dont pollute it.

6. Look, Dummy: The earth. Looks great blue and white, in fact, like a natural Paradise. Not so nice black, in fact, more like a cinder. So make nice, not war.

7. Look, Dummy: Yourself. A mind, we trust; a body, no doubt; and a spirit or communicative feelings, we sense. When you do good things with them, you feel good. So do a lot of them, especially while you have the opportunity.

8. Look, Dummy: Other human beings. Were all here because of the same Cause, so, whatever you do, dont try to please that generous Cause by killing other people, especially for what your bent mind thinks of as religious reasons.

9. Look, Dummy: Men and women. One and one are two. Two generally make a half each, not three quarters and one quarter. So consider them as equal.

10. Look, Dummy, Life: No doubt weve got it. No doubt you take good care of it, youll last longer and have more fun and, conveniently enough, be more likely to please whatever put it here.